More of the world's shortest books!
A new list of the "World's Shortest Books":

STAYING HAPPILY MARRIED
-by Elizabeth Taylor

BEAUTY SECRETS
-by Janet Reno

HOME BUILT AIRPLANES
-by John Denver

DOWN HILL SKIING
-by Sonny Bono

HOW TO GET TO THE SUPER BOWL
-by Dan Marino

FLYING AT NIGHT
-by JFK, Jr.

THINGS I LOVE ABOUT BILL
-by Hillary Clinton

MY LIFE'S MEMORIES
-by Ronald Reagan

THINGS I CAN'T AFFORD-
by Bill Gates

MY PLAN TO FIND THE REAL KILLERS
-by O. J. Simpson

THINGS I WOULD NOT DO FOR MONEY
-by Dennis Rodman

THE TRUTH, THE WHOLE TRUTH, AND NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH
-by the Ramseys

AMELIA EARHART'S GUIDE TO THE PACIFIC OCEAN
AMERICA'S MOST POPULAR LAWYERS
DETROIT - A TRAVEL GUIDE
DR. KEVORKIAN'S COLLECTION OF MOTIVATIONAL SPEECHES
MIKE TYSON'S GUIDE TO DATING ETIQUETTE
THE AMISH PHONE DIRECTORY
HELLEN KELLER'S BIRDWATCHING GUIDE

Nose Picking Glossary
THE KIDDIE PICK...When you're by yourself and you uninhibitedly twist your forefinger into your nostril with childlike joy and freedom. And the best part is, there's no time limit!

CAMOUFLAGED KIDDIE PICK...When, in the presence of other people, you wrap your forefinger in a tissue, then thrust it in deep and hold back the smile.

FAKE NOSE SCRATCH...When you make believe you've got an itch but you're really trolling the nostril edge for stray boogers.

MAKING A MEAL OUT OF IT...You do it so furiously, and for so long, you're probably entitled to dessert.

SURPRISE PICKINGS...When a sneeze or laugh causes snot to come hurtling out of your nose, and you have to gracefully clean it off your shirt.

AUTO PICK...The kind you do in a car, when no one's looking.

PICK YOUR BRAINS...Done in private, this is the one where your finger goes in so far, it passes the septum.

PICK AND SAVE...When you have to pick it quickly, just when someone looks away, and then you pocket the snot so they don't catch on to what you did.

PICK AND ROLL...No explanation needed.

PICK AND FLICK...Ditto.

PICK AND STICK...You wanted it to be a "Pick and Flick," but it stubbornly clings to your fingertip.

PAY DIRT...The kind where you remove a piece of snot so big, it improves your breathing by 90%.

Put-Downs Galore!
Some good put-downs...ya' never know when you'll need one!

I refuse to enter a battle of the wits with you --it's against my morals to attack an unarmed person.

Are your parents cousins?

Your teeth are so yellow, I can't believe it's not butter.

Nice face...what are you going to do when the baboon wants his ass back?

Oh my God, look at you! Anyone else hurt in the accident?

What other problems do you have besides being unemployed, a moron and a dork?

Who picks your clothes - Stevie Wonder?

Very Offensive Space Shuttle Jokes
Q: What were Christa McAuliffe's last words to her husband?
A: "You feed the kids - I'll feed the fish."

Q: What does NASA stand for?
A1: Need Another Seven Astronauts
A2: Need Another Shuttle Also

Q: Did you know why there was only one black crew member on Challenger?
A: They didn't know it was going to blow up.

Q: Did you know that NASA has a new space drink?
A: Ocean Spray - It was their second choice because they couldn't get 7-UP.

Q: On future shuttle missions, why will one of the astronauts have to be a naval officer?
A: So when they decide to use it as an experimental submarine, they'll have a rated officer onboard.

Q: How many people will fit in a Florida Volkswagen?
A: Four in the seats and seven in the ashtray.

Another Dog With No Legs
Q: What do you call a dog with no legs?

A: It don't matter what you call him, he ain't commin'!

Dance
How do you make a Kleenex dance?
But a little boogie in it.

Dead Babies
What is easier to fill a dump truck up with.. dead babies or bowling balls?

Dead babies.. because you can use a pitchfork.

Dog with no legs
Q. Where you you fing a dog with no legs?

A. Right where you left it.

Farts
Q: Why do farts smell?

A: So deaf people can enjoy them too.

Gold medal
What's better than winning the gold medal at the special olympics?

Not being retarded!